yeah i’ll call you right back lemme just line up these cacti from smallest to largest real quick. love you
Things That People Have Said To Me Since I Started Working In A Yarn Shop
- “i need more of the rowan felted tweed, i’m making some first-world-war balaclavas and i’ve run out”
- “i’m making my husband an x-files themed jumper for christmas and i can’t find a good colour for the spaceship”
- “do you have any wool/acrylic blends on sale, i’m making hats for the seamen’s mission to give to sailors and i know they say to use acrylics because they’re cheap but it gets awfully cold at sea and i worry”
- “i need some black wool for gloves, but it has to be flame-proof because i’m making them for the beltane fire-jugglers”
- “could you see if you have another copy of this pattern for a baby shawl, i’ve knitted it in different colours for all of my six children and twelve grandchildren but it’s started to fall apart a bit"
- [from a blond, six-foot surfer dude] “yeah, do you have any really light needles, i’m going backpacking around argentina and i want to do some socks while i’m on the coach but there isn’t much room in my rucksack”
- “which of these colours do you think would be best for a knitted corgi”
- “do you have any patterns for dog hats”
like honestly you don’t even understand how happy this makes me, like half the time these women are really self-deprecating about it - “oh this is probably a really silly question”, “you’re going to think this is really weird but -” - and i’m just like no!! this is amazing!!! yes, we do have patterns for dog hats!!! please tell me all about why you’re knitting a dog hat!!!!
and i mean, some of the stuff they make is unbelievable. there’s one lady who knits wedding-ring shawls, these enormous lace shawls they do on shetland that’re about six feet across and made out of yarn that’s basically thread, which you can pull through a wedding ring because they’re so fine. and there’s another lady who knits dolls about three inches tall and she’s like eighty and she’s done maybe two thousand of them and i found this out yesterday when she came in for a pattern for an entire knitted nativity scene, including the animals and the star. and there’s all the ladies who knit clothes to donate to the refugees and tiny, tiny clothes for premature or stillborn babies at the maternity unit and hats for the seamen’s mission and jumpers for the homeless, and all the ladies making this incredible stuff for their friends or their relatives or just because they feel like it, and it’s just, they’re my favourite, every single one of these people is my favourite
No. Hollywood has an older man problem.
this is so gross
I wish I could remember the name of the actress who went ballistic after being told that, at 35, she was too old to play the love interest for the 55-year-old lead.
It was Maggie Gyllenhall. And I stand corrected, she was 37.
Damn
Would anyone like to see pictures of this bird I’m friends with
I love her
i am loving people’s attempts to identify this bird its just an australian magpie, she’s not a chimera, she’s not a fucked up crow, etc. she is just….. a regular run of the mill magpie
She is also a mother…. here is her yelling son who she brought to me one time
HOW THE HELL DID YOU BEFRIEND AN AUSTRALIAN MAGPIE
i give her chips sometimes
From what I’ve heard, australian magpies are actually quite nice if they trust you not to hurt them. Swooping season happens because, as a species, they’ve learned that most humans are Dangerous and so they preemptively attack to protect themselves and their young. If you’ve been nice to a group of magpies, though, they’ll remember you and you won’t be swooped at.
Magpies are extremely cool birds, and very intelligent… which means that they know that humans are the biggest threat around and that we can be good friends. Thus, swooping, and also not swooping humans who have proven themselves to be trustworthy sources of food.
The funniest interaction I ever had with some magpies was when one of my former workplaces had our Christmas lunch as a picnic in a park. A pair of magpies were teaching their fledgeling how to beg for food from humans. First one would approach, crouch down and coo at us; someone threw them a bit of cheese. Then the other adult approached, crouched down and cooed at us; someone threw a piece of cabanossi. Both tidbits were picked up, taken back and shared with the offspring… then the adults were standing there looking at the fledgeling and then at us, obviously going “Go on, then, you try it!”
Fledgeling magpie nervously walked closer to us, looked back at its parents, then half-crouched and yelled “RAWK!” in our direction. We cracked up laughing, startling the poor baby, but he or she got over it pretty quickly when a HAIL of bits of cheese and sausage landed all around.
via reddit.com
I like the poster’s implication that the producers of Sesame Street did not put a counting vampiric count on a children’s educational series to teach kids how to count; this was just an incidental side effect of their fidelity to obscure vampire folklore.
I basically just repeat the phrases “oh my god”, “holy shit”, and “hell yeah” and that’s the extent of my personality
that would explain my simple vocabulary and general buffoonery
u ever have cravings that are like “you WILL eat a rice krispies treat or there will be consequences. you have 24 hours”
man: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful?
me: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity
I’ve been laughing at this on and off for two straight days
sparklebabyadore