Anonymous asked:
if you got a golden ticket to willy wonkas chocolate factory, in what ironic candy-ass manner would you be killed
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pyramidslayer answered:
i try to disseminate marxist literature to the oompa loompas and wonka stabs me thru the back with a candy cane sword
i always drink my iced tea with lemons and i always drink it with a straw
i just noticed that the corner by the side of the couch i sit on has a cool little pile of lemon seeds
because when i suck one up in my straw i spit the seed out of the side of my mouth and they’ve been landing in a hard-to-sweep corner between the couch and the wall. i have a secret hoard of lemon seeds, this is awesome
shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches
how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball
- what neurotypicals think depression looks like: it is black and white. a pretty, white, skinny girl that has showered the third time that day, sitting in a corner of her dark bedroom, is crying silently with her head in her hands, but prettily, and her long hair covers her tears
- what depression really looks like: *roller skating into a room* hello my dudes i haven't showered or brushed my teeth for a week, i haven't had a feeling for 3 months and i have daily suicidal thoughts but its cool lmao who wants to hear some jokes about constant existential despair
shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches
how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS i implore you, if you’re 14 or younger, get the fuck off this site. i know you think you’re mature enough for it but trust me, your brain is developing at a crazy rate right now, the constant bombardment from all sides of aggressive black-and-white ideals isn’t healthy. i really wish i could go back in time and tell my 12-14 year old self to stay out of these types of internet communities.
and if you’re gonna ignore this and stay on tumblr, please at least:
- don’t post pictures of your face
- try to not expose yourself to sociopolitical stuff of any kind
- give yourself room to figure out who you are and grow and change
shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches
how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball
what i want when i look up depression: those jokey posts that are actually a thinly veiled cry for help that are highkey relatable and an easy way for me to show im currently upset without being too obvious/worrying
what i get: black and white movie gifs with quotes taken way out of context and people making depression seem like some beautiful profound thing like nah fam i haven’t showered in 4 days and i want to die
LIKE !!!!
‘In 1778, two Irish gentlewomen put on men’s clothing and ran away together. Lady Eleanor Butler had received several offers of marriage but was determined to share her life with her friend Sarah Ponsonby. […] They spent the rest of their lives in a black and white house called Plas Newydd outside Llangollen, cultivating their garden, improving their minds and filling the house with clocks, cabinets and “whirligigs of every shape and hue”. [They also had] a little dog called Sapho.’
“Friend”
They literally named their dog Sapho
shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches
how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball
sparklebabyadore